Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Ode to the Jewish Woman Making Pesach

Twas the night before pesach
All was silent in the house
Nothing was stirring
Not even a mouse

Then up from her bed
With a strangled cry
Leapt a Jewish housewife
With fear in her eyes

“The chametz the chametz”
She cried and moaned
“I dreamt that it was everywhere
All over our home”

Her screams woke the children
And much to their delight
They saw mom freaking out
In the middle of the night

Her husband rubbed her back
And murmured in her ear
"It was just a nightmare sweetie
Go back to sleep dear"

But with a maniacal gleam
In her bloodshot eyes
The woman stood up
And boldly decried

“My dream was an omen
A sign from up You Know Who
We must re-check the house
That’s exactly what we’ll do"

Her husband protested
Her children tried to procrastinate and pause
But hell hath no iron will
Like a woman with a cause

Starting in the attic
They worked their way down
Unfolding and lifting
Silently, without sound

They checked under the beds
Inside the cupboards too
The breakfront and closets
And the baby’s toy zoo

They swarmed over the kitchen
Eyeballing every nook and cranny
Finding naught but some matzah meal
And a picture of dad’s granny

At last, exhausted
And empty-handed but relieved
The mother sent her brood to bed
For a well deserved reprieve

Now dear reader, heed this lesson
And pay tribute to the woman of the hour
Who’s scrubbing, cleaning and cooking
Has used up all her power

She tirelessly converted
The whole house as it should be
And come Seder night
Her work is a pride for all to see

This is for every Jewish woman
Who has been stressed and worried
Who has been fraught with nerves
And somewhat harried

I honor your labors
And congratulate you too
Now sit back and relax
There's nothing left to do!!!

Chag Sameach!


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