Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Israeli Drivers

A seemingly innocuous title. Yet here is where I let loose.

&$#%ing Israeli drivers!!! May all of you lane hogging, forgetting to signal, going waaaay below the speed limit and don't know rules regarding the right of way imbecils behind wheels rot in bad driver hell!

Ahhh, what provokes this outburst, one might ask. Aliza is such a sweet individual, where does the excess of rage spout from? Let me explain.

I am a good driver. I will openly admit that I do enjoy travelling at "enhanced" speeds and that driving on Jerusalem roads necessitates the usage of what I have termed "defensive driving". However, I always check and then signal if I would like to switch lanes. I will not engage in behavior which would endanger myself or others. My parallel parking may not always be successful on first attempt, but I always get it right by the end. I don't have patience for idiots who aren't paying attention,cause problems with traffic, take up my precious time or endanger my life.

Tonight, I encountered such an idiot. I was on my way to Shaare Zedek hospital to visit my friend Adam who just made Aliya a month ago and managed to land himself in the hospital with a fairly rare intestinal complication. He's hopefully getting out tomorrow, and I came to help him ask a few questions, pay him a visit and bring him back his wallet and winter coat which I was babysitting. Yes, there is lots of theft in hospitals. As I'm waiting at a light, it turns green. I'm waiting 5, 10, 15 seconds for the car in front of me to start, but no go. I honked my horn - perhaps the driver was fiddling with the radio or writing a text message, it happens. The idiot does nothing, so I honked again. Slowly, the car begins to creeeeeep across the intersection. I honk again. I'm not expecting zero to sixty, but zero to 1.5 is a bit slow. The car then sped up and smashed on its brakes almost causing me to crash into it, then repeated that shtick. I then signaled to switch to the other lane, intending to overtake, as I needed to be in the turn lane we were both occupying. The car zigzagged in front of me, constantly cutting me of, and trying to force me into a lane and to have an accident. Thankfully, I turned left while the shmuck went straight. I memorized their license plate number but unfortunately had no witnesses in the car with me. In the States, I would definately have made a call reporting reckless endangerment. Here, I would have been told to "calm down honey" and let it slide.

So here is my way of dealing with it:
If any of you ever see a car with license plate number 69 221 05, give 'em hell and flip 'em the bird, from me.


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